This afternoon I spent time with my boyfriend on his lunch break, redyed my hair, got ready for work and left my apartment with 20 minutes to spare before my late shift started. I drove for seven miles in the pouring rain to get there, and within five minutes of walking in the front door was told that my position was no longer secured and that I was being let go.
This came as not only a shock to me, but to a lot of my coworkers as well. I had only been there for six months but I had excelled at my job and, on many different occasions, went above and beyond for the company. I personally raised almost $500 on the company’s behalf for 2012’s Relay for Life, I spent time on breaks and even at home working on assignments given to us while at work, I took time away from doing my own job to help my coworkers and the freshly hired people that the company brought on every month and I busted my ass making sure that I did my job to my maximum capabilities and did my best to help everyone around me and complete all of the tasks set before me.
24 hours before my six month anniversary with the company, and 24 hours before I was due for my raise, I was let go. I’m not going to speak on conspiracies or company politics or bullshit, but the evidence speaks for itself.
At first, I was really upset. What will we do with only one household income? How will we pay the bills? What about my health insurance, how will I afford my prescriptions and doctor’s visits?
And the shock led way to panic, which stuck around for hours while I obsessively scrubbed and clean our entire apartment until Nick came home and hugged me and assured me that we’d be fine. “Sometimes shit happens,” he said, ever so eloquently. “We’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.”
And I decided that he’s right. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve dreaded going to work every day anyway. It’s taken away my interest in things that I used to find joy in, like baking and cooking and reading comic books. I started to develop a complex that nothing I did was good enough and my outlook on life started twisting from believing in hard work and positivity to believing that the only way to succeed would be to lie and cheat.
And really, is that the kind of place I would want to work anyway? My job consisted of exactly that — Lying and cheating my way into getting personal information from people who were desperate, people who were down on their luck and people who were rude and aggressive. Every day I listened to people who told stories of their hardships and bad luck while only focusing on getting their phone numbers so salesmen could hound them in order to further their own careers.
And that’s not the kind of person I am.
My job was changing me, making me more negative and more unhappy every single day.
And is this what I want? I’ve always believed that you should do what makes you happy, regardless of the monetary compensation. Is it worth your happiness and peace of mind and sense of personal ethics to manipulate and deceive your way to your paychecks? I don’t think so, and while the health benefits and paid time off was a great thing to experience for someone who’s never had a real full time job, I still believe that to be true.
I think this is a wake up call. I’m still young, I have a lot of potential to do great things. I’ve been knocked down, but does that mean I have to stay that way? It doesn’t, and I’m ready to come back with my fists swinging and my head held high. There are so many inspirational people in my life who have taken the things they’re passionate about and turned them into their livelihood — And why should I be any different? Maybe I can’t crochet award-winning baby hats like Kelly-Anne or start my own comic shop like Aaron, but I do have gifts and I am good at a wide variety of things.
I think I’m going to pursue a job in baking. I’m not sure how that will work since I’ve never had a professional job working with cupcakes and sweets, but it’s something I love and it’s something I’m good at. Baking makes me happy and isn’t that what’s really important, overall?
Life is too short to waste it on things that don’t excite and challenge and inspire you.
So while it does suck that we’re now in a pretty difficult place financially, I’m feeling better about the situation. Hopeful, even. And hope isn’t something I can say I’ve felt much of over the last six months.
Walt Disney said, ““All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.”
So let’s see what happens, shall we? 🙂