When One Door Closes… (A Ramble About Risk & Change)

I think it’s sort of just “a thing” at this point that with my blogging, I sometimes have random spurts of inactivity following back-to-back posts – and I’m not going to apologize ’cause sometimes life happens, and my blog is a hobby that I keep for fun. Turning it into an obligation seems a bit antithetical to the whole “fun” thing, so, here we are!

A big part of why my schedule has been so sporadic, at least for the last few years, has been due to being really unhappy with where I was in different ways. I spent 6 years in a job with a company whose employees were only successful because of who they were friends with, and who publicly spouted things about “leadership” and “morale” while having some of the absolute worst leaders in charge that I’d ever encountered. Every workday for me was filled with anxiety and dread, and despite being amazing at my job, having a great relationship with my clients, and having climbed the ladder to being in charge of several teams of people, my time was consistently undervalued and unappreciated.

Luckily and fortunately, all ties to the company were severed this past March, and the relief and amount of freedom I’ve felt since have been incredible! Immediately after leaving, I took a month off to center myself a bit – it’d been years since I’d been able to sleep fully through the night or even maintain a normal sleep schedule at all due to the demands of my job. I was forced into a very late night work schedule over the last year, and was still expected at daytime meetings every day of the week – I was averaging about 3 – 6 hours of sleep per night, and the exhaustion was taking its toll on me.

 

 

During my month off, I slept – oh, I SLEPT! I made new art, expanded my Etsy shop significantly, sold a lot of things, learned new hobbies (those are my embroidery projects throughout this post!), and I even took an amazing vacation trip to Texas for the awesome Camp Tazo event, hosted by Tazo Tea & Alyssa Edwards (I’ll post more on that soon!!). I still worked a few shifts at my second (and now primary) job, but those shifts are always fun – even moreso now without the pressing weight of my “real job”

I’ve made incredible new friends, had some amazing experiences, and the best part? I didn’t have any 3 AM phone calls from panicked clients in other time zones upset that the company still hadn’t sent the promised contracts, no 8 AM meetings with supervisors asking me not to log time I’d worked for their company’s tax purposes (so shady!), no barely-above-minimum-wage paychecks as a SALARIED manager with a 6 year employment history at the company. I was able to enjoy my time fully, and it was such much needed break away from what I’d been dealing with for years leading up to it. It was amazing!

After my time off, I got back to work right away. I updated my resume with a focus on finding something in the social media & creative fields, and away from more management type roles. I wanted to grow professionally and creatively; not get stuck back in the same rut I’d been in for the last 6 years. I’m very happy to say that I found something fitting that almost exactly, or rather, it found me – I applied for one position, and the awesome owner of that company offered me a whole other job, too!

 

 

I’ve also continued doing commissions, and have started some gig work – personal shopping for elderly folks mostly, which has been incredibly rewarding – both financially, and emotionally!

It’s hard to believe that I spent so long in a place I was so unhappy because I was too afraid to make the decision to leave. The fear of the “unknown” is a funny thing – by trying to protect yourself, you’re ultimately only holding yourself back from what could be. The thought of being without my last job, while I was in it and actively hating and dreading each day spent there, put me into a panic. I felt like if I lost that, I’d lose everything – but the exact opposite was true! Without that job, I’ve been opened up to so many more possibilities that I wouldn’t have been looking out for otherwise. Since leaving, I’ve started making more money in less time than I had in the last 6 years, despite how much more work I was doing. I’ve reevaluated how much my time is actually worth, and I won’t be settling again for anything less – not now, or ever.

I am very fortunate. There’s always a chance of something not working out when you’re taking a risk, and just making the choice to do something doesn’t necessarily mean that thing will happen. Even so, sometimes the risk is worth it – particularly in the cases of being in a situation that makes you deeply unhappy, or forces you to go against what you feel is true or right. Compromising yourself, your happiness, your beliefs, your morals – for a job? It’s never going to be worth it. You deserve better!

 

 

So I’m hoping to maintain a more consistent blogging schedule without the heavy weight of a job I hate on my shoulders, and that starts now! I have a few new book reviews coming up, as well as some top 10 posts, recipes, and probably a photo dump post of all my embroidery projects so far! Thanks for sticking around through my absences! 😀

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